Open the eyes of my heart, Lord!
by Nimah Shada
Summary: The results came back... Heero, I've got 3 months left."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter Zero: **

**Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord: **

**That night, I lay beside her, wondering about what I had just felt. There seemed to **

**be a lump on her breast about the size of a dime. I looked over at my wife, brushing a **

**strand of hair from her brow. I called the hospital then, using the ear phone peice beside **

**the bed. Everything seemed still and dead as I went into the little parlor across from the **

**bedroom, answering the automative voices' questions slowly and carefully. I was going to**

**find out what was wrong the next morning, even if I needed to drag her to the emergency room. **

**The next morning, I awoke to the sound of the alarm buzzing in my ear. **

**I leaned over Relena, kissing her temple. Her eyes fluttered open as though she **

**had been waiting for a signal from me to wake her. She smiled happily**

**at me, like she did every morning and kissed me. **

**"Better get up now, babe. I need to run some errands today, and I want to spend some **

**more time with you," I regretted the lie, resisting the slight twitch on the corner of my mouth, I often felt during the war. **

**"Alright, wanna get an early start to a Saturday, huh?" she asked, grinning. **

**"Yeah." I said in a monotone. **

**"Alright, I just need to get some things done first. I won't be long though." I nodded, **

**she had done this every morning since we been married. I never asked what she did **

**during this time, I assumed it was some excersises she liked to do alone or something like that. Women! **

**I sat at the table later that morning, sipping at black coffee as I toyed with a small photo **

**album Relena kept on the little table in the breakfast nook. I had never opened the stupid album, but **

**for some reason this particular day, I felt curious. **

**To my surprise, I found myself staring down at clippings of angels and crosses from magazines and web sites. Small **

**passages rested between the plastic and thin paper layer. One read: **

**Psalm 52:8 **

8 But I am like an olive tree

flourishing in the house of God;

I trust in God's unfailing love

forever and ever.

**I raised his brow in question at that, but I brushed it off. I just assumed Relena's mother must have given **

**it to her as a memorial. Relena had told me that her mother was a very religious woman. I felt someone standing over me, **

**looking over my shoulder, I realized it was my wife. **

**"... I see you finally opened it, got curious, did you?" she smiled in a warmly, taking the book into her hands. **

**"So, who gave it to you?" I asked, doing my best to seem uninterested in the little book. **

**"I made it myself, actually. I like to read it in my spare time, just looking over the verses and pictures, I never seem **

**to get tired of what new things I learn," she replied. I looked up into Relena's pretty blue eyes, I had never seen her eyes so **

**bright... so warm. **

**"So, what does it mean to you? It's just a silly little scrap book, Relena," I said, instanly feeling a pang in my chest as I said that. **

**"... It's not something I can easily explain, Heero, but I will try, if you want me to," she said. I nodded at that, intent **

**on listening to her story about that little book. **

**"... Well, as you know my mother is very religious. She would often take me to this little santuary so we could pray together, **

**under the supervision of a trusted deacon and the priest. And the priest would answer any questions we had and he would preach to us for strength in **

**God. And as I grew up, we continued to go, dispite the fact that my father strongly disapproved of it. I began to hunger for the things of God more and **

**more, before I finally started making that scrap book. It's been a great help to me since I was about 16," she explained. She wrung her hands nervously, **

**her cheeks reddened a little. For some reason, this irritated me a little, I wasn't sure why. I had always wondered why she always seemed so calm... so at **

**peace. Maybe this was it. Why was I so ticked off with this one secret scrap of information in my wife's life? Why? **

**"... After everything science has proven, how can you possibly believe such silly stories from an ancient book like that? Think for yourself, **

**Relena. God does not exist, no one has seen Him and no one ever will!" I exclaimed sharply, glaring at her. **

**"Oh Heero. I don't care what science has proven, it's about faith. Not a bunch of theories mankind has dug up. What seems more comforting to **

**you? The fact that a great being that loves you, despite the fact that you have just said He does not exist, loves you enough to send His Son into the world **

**more than 10,000 years ago to die for you? Perhaps you would like to believe that you just float around in some spirit realm for all of eternity, just **

**remembering life... what's more comforting to you?" **

**"I don't know, Relena! Get off my case about it, get ready to go now!" I growled menacingly, clutching my fist as I held my hand at my side, so **

**as not to strike her. I was surprised at my own fury... I hadn't felt so angry since the war. What's wrong with me? **

**Later that morning, we sat in the waiting room. Relena looked up from her magazine as her name was called. She got up and I followed her, still a **

**little upset with this morning's incident. After the exam, and a routine mammogram, the doctor said she would contact Relena in a couple of days. She **

**had said it was more than likely a benine tumor and that it should be easy to remove. **

**We left a short time later, Relena held my hand nervously as she bowed her head for a moment. It was a short ride home, Relena never **

**said a word as she climbed out of the car. As we entered the house, Relena and I were greeted by our servant, Edward. He took her purse and hung it up **

**on the rack and she nodded in thanks. I whistled down the narrow hall way, smiling as I heard the scampering paws of the puppy. He yipped, begging to **

**be picked up, I obliged and rolled him onto his back in my arms, rubbing his round little belly with my knuckles gently. **

**"... I think Abel wants food," I said, looking down at the little golden retriever in my arms. I had always loved golden retrievers... but it seemed **

**to bring back memories of the wars... my training. And that little girl and her puppy that had died at my hands... I looked down at Abel, remembering **

**that night. I shook my head of the memories as he whimpered and gnawed on my hand. **

**"We really should get him a teething ring, Heero," said Relena. I nodded at that, tapping the dog on the nose. **

**Later that evening, Relena sat with her face hidden in her hands. The phone lay on the floor beside her, the hollow operater's **

**tone rang through the little sun room. I rushed over to her, taking her hands into mine carefully. **

**"The results came back... Heero, I've got 3 months left," her words didn't quite reach me at first. **

**"... What?" I asked, feeling like the words had just flown over my head. **

**"I have 3 months left to live, Heero... They said it's terminal breast cancer. If they try to remove it, more will grow, and twice as fast. There would **

**have been nothing they could do from the beginning," she said, tears slid down her cheeks. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I cupped her cheek, my hand **

**shook as I rested it against her face. Her eyes flickered for a moment, a blue aurora... and for a moment, I wondered what she would look like at the **

**end. If she would still smile at me, would her eyes light still if I held her. For a moment, I thought of just ending all of it now... but I wanted her around **

**for as long as possible. I wasn't ready to let go just yet. **

**At that thought, the tears flooded down my face and I collapsed. My head rested in her lap as I broke down. We stayed like that for a while, crying **

**and comforting each other. By the time we had cried ourselves to exhaustion, my hair was soaked with her tears and her lap with mine. I smiled shakily **

**as I helped her up from the chair. She smiled back at me, and as weak as that small expression was... I knew for some reason, there was hope in some **

**thing. **

**"I already called Quetre... he said that he wanted to be certain that it was terminal. You and I will be accompanying him to a hospital on L1," I **

**said, "We leave tomorrow." **

**"... So much rush, the doctors said they were certain... why go through all this trouble then, Heero," she asked. I held her hand as we went into the **

**dining room. **

**"Maybe it's something he needs to do for himself... maybe he needs to be sure. Who knows, maybe it's not as bad as the doctors here made it **

**seem. There might still be something they can do, Relena," I said, this gave me some hope. Maybe we could really beat the odds. **

**The next morning we woke up early. I opened my eyes as I laid in bed, I felt my eyes widen as a child's face hovered close to mine. It disapeared **

**slowly, and I looked over at Relena, shaking my head clear. I wondered if, by some chance, I had become dehydrated. I knew I had neglected my body a **

**little since the war ended, but I had managed to stay fit nontheless. I frowned as I shook my wife awake. She smiled up at me as I drew her close in a **

**hug. **

**"... I want you to know that I love you... I don't say it as much as I should, but I want you to know that whatever happens I love you. I'll never love **

**anyone else, Relena," I said. **

**"Heero... don't say that, I want you to be happy, please... just promise me that you'll carry on," she said. Her eyes flickered for a moment and a **

**tear slipped down her cheek. I nodded at that, I hated to see her cry so much. I was speaking the truth though, I never would feel the same way about **

**another woman. I could never, I swore it. **

**"Well, what do you want for breakfast, Heero?" asked Relena, she was trying to be cheery, I knew. She had always been like that, always looked **

**on the bright side, it was one thing that I couldn't stand when I met her... but now I really loved her for it. **

**"... Whatever we have that's not crawling out of the refrigerator just yet," I said numbly. Relena laughed at that. **

**"Eggs and bacon, then," she said. **

**After breakfast, we drove to the port and met Quatre at the hospical waiting room. He smiled kindly, hugging Relena gently. We waited at a little **

**cafe'. **

**"Relena... have you drawn out a will yet? Or do you still want to wait and see what happens?" asked Quatre, I gripped my wife's hand. **

**"We're just hoping that there is something we can do... to prolong the inevitable," she replied. I looked over at my friend, noticing the tears **

**spilling down his face. Relena reached over, holding his hand as she looked into his eyes, "I'll be just fine, Quatre, regardless. I've got something better **

**to look forward to than this silly life." I felt the corner of my mouth twitch at that comment, but I smiled as best as I could to rienforce her confidence. **

**"There has to be more we can do about this though, I've heard of all sorts of campiengs and things for breast cancer awareness around the year **

**2,000... maybe we can start something up again. You must have recieved a lot of letters since you were diagnosed, Relena," said Quatre. **

**She shook her head at that, "I wanted to let everyone know after this appointment, no one knows about it just yet. I want to know how much time **

**I've got left. I don't just want to come out and say that I'm sick like this," she replied. I frowned, thinking she cared too much, she had always been like **

**that. It was almost like she thought everyone else was better than her, like they deserved more. **

**After we left the doctors office, with pretty much the same diagnosis, we went to the nearest diner. Quatre's treat. No one really touched their food **

**though, I guess it was just something to do, just so we would have something to remember... when it was all over. That night, I had a dream. **

_**I stood over her, wishing I had just one more tear to shed for her. I fell to my knees on the hardwood floor, holding the gun. I wished that she could **_

_**smile at me now. But I knew she couldn't. I looked down at her body, her blood pooled underneath her and her eyes shown hollow. And I knew it was all **_

_**over for her... her pain, her torment. But now my pain began. **_

**I bolted up in bed, sweat poured down my face. I got up, opening the little drawer in the nightstand. I removed the gun, my thoughts raced, my **

**heart pounded in my chest. I stared at the metal abomination, I knew what I needed to do. But could I do such a thing? Could I let her live, just one more **

**night? I closed my eyes, feeling the trigger under my finger. My mind was made up. **


	2. Chapter 2

** Gundam Wing Story**

** Like a rose: **

**Heero laid the rose on her breast carefully, the casket shown pure white in the summer light. **

**The young man felt his friend's hand on his shoulder, leading him away to the nearest pew as his **

**knees began to give away. The old hymn, Like a Rose, played in the background as Duo rubbed his **

**back as he cried against his friend's chest, gripping the man's black dress shirt tightly. **

**"Why did she have to die? Why did He have to have her?" he sobbed. **

**Duo eased his friend away, turning Heero's head towards the casket as the midday sun shown down **

**through the clear glass window. A cross with the silhouetted body of Christ shown in the center of the white **

**marble floor. **

**"Because He was done building her house in heaven, Heero, and I'm sure... it's just as beautiful as she is," **

**whispered Duo through a hoarse throat. Heero's hands shook as he opened the Bible, remembering the **

**last day he had spent with her. **

_**He stood in the sterile room with a white teddy bear in his arms, a present from Quatre. The teddy bear was holding a plastic **_

_**dove in it's paws, it's clear blue eyes shown innocently in the sunlight. **_

_**"Heero, the doctors said I won't make it past tonight... I want you to have something. I know you'll think **_

_**it's silly... but... I'm hoping it will help you," her voice trembled weakly as she reached for something under the light **_

_**cotton blankets. **_

_**A lock of her hair lay on the bedside stand, so that, in her last days she could remember herself **_

_**healthy and alive... before she had been diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 23. **_

_**She handed him a large plain hardcover black book, there was no print in the front or on the spine. He glanced over at her, **_

_**perplexed. The young man opened the book, surprised at how thin the pages were. On the first page were the words**_

_**Holy Bible. Heero smiled, placing the book in his bag. He wasn't sure when he would be able read it... or even if **_

_**he ever would. But hat night he opened the book for the first time. **_

**Psalm 52:8 **

8 But I am like an olive tree

flourishing in the house of God;

I trust in God's unfailing love

forever and ever.

_**He remembered smiling bitterly at that, like anyone could really trust God's love after something like this.**__**God had done this to **_

_**Relena, why should he listen to God now? He hadn't helped, hadn't loved him his whole life. Why should Heero, a man of war, **_

_**play into God's little game? **_

**The young man ran his hand along the book gently, feeling a sudden calm as the tears in his eyes began to dry. **

**Something felt empty, a will begging to be carried out... he knew what he had to do now. If he wanted to see his wife again... he needed Jesus now. **

_**Over the years, the other Gundam pilots had gone their seperate ways but they had managed to stay connected. They still got together for birthdays and **_

_**holidays, or just to hang out and recap on the events of their lives more recently... They had even had a get well party for Relena when they found out the **_

_**news. **_

_**Relena smiled up at him as he held her tiny hand in his, "I don't know what you think I will find in that book, and I don't know if I will ever read **_

_**it," he said as he stared into her dim blue eyes. **_

_**"You'll find what you need, not what you want, Heero," she said in a thin, frail voice. Her body trembled as she coughed violently, **_

_**turning away from him as she curled up into a ball. She moaned in pain, clutching her breast through the thin hospital gown as she sobbed. He hated **_

_**seeing her like this, had often thought of just putting a bullet in her head while she slept... just to end the pain. But he knew that if he did that, her memory **_

_**would haunt him forever. He wanted some comfort even if it was just knowing she died fighting for what she believed in. Even if science had prevailed in **_

_**the battles of evolution and the church had dwindled down to little shelters and tiny santuaries for nuns and preists and monks. She still believed the stories **_

_**from the Bible. **_

_**Heero listened to her words closely as she explained what Christ had done, the miracles he had performed. She had called it 'witnessing.' Had **_

_**told him what he should do if he decided to accept Christ as his Savior but Heero had brushed it off. He had stayed with her that night, had kissed her cheek **_

_**and she smiled weakly in her sleep. **_

_**The next morning Heero awoke the heart monitor beeping. He looked up at the machine, not believing what he was seeing. The flat green line... the **_

_**irratating buzz... no, it was a trick. It wasn't real... he had to call someone... to tell someone about this odd dream. Deep in his heart, though, he knew it was **_

_**not a dream. It was all real... Relena was dead. **_

__**"... Duo... I have to ask a favor of you now," whispered Heero. **

**"... Name it, Heero," he replied, wiping his eyes with a tissue. **

**"I want you to witness to me," choked out the young man. Yes, he was angry with God. And he had been in denial... God couldn't be real after so **

**much had been proven... but if He was, Heero wasn't taking that chance. And if being a believer was what it took to see Relena again, and to see Christ, **

**he would do just that. **

**"... Heero..." Duo's hands shook as he covered his face for a moment, "Alright, let's get started then."**

**Half an hour later, Heero sat in tears for the second time that day. He sobbed uncontrollably, the tears soaked his face. **

**"... I killed because it's what I was taught to do... but I never... thought anyone would be willing to die for me... just because He loved me, just **

**wanted to help me..." he sobbed. **

**"... Heero, are you willing to put your life into His hands now? Are you willing to start over, and take up the duties God has laid before you?" **

**asked Duo. **

**"I am, I want to do His will now," replied the young man, staring up at the cross over the alter. **

**"Then let's pray now," Duo's voice shook as he took his friend's hands in his, bowing his head. Heero hesitated for **

**a moment, but bowed his head as well. **

**"Heavenly Father, this young man has come to you in pain, asking for your healing touch and loving guidance. Lord, please, **

**accept him as he is now, a sinner who has repented of his sins. Father, we ask that You will touch his soul and heart now.**

**Comfort him as he struggles through this hard time, Lord lift him up and let him live for You, Your child and Your servant, forever and **

**ever. In Jesus' name we pray these things, Father, amen," Duo took a deep breath, hoping Heero hadn't heard his voice shaking. **

**Heero looked up, tears fell from his chin as Duo clapped him on the shoulder. Heero stared into Duo's eyes, wondering if he had been praying for **

**himself as well. He felt an almost terrifying calm begin to over take him... a strange peace. **

**He looked over at the shadow of the cross, his eyes widened in surprise for a moment. A woman with shoulder-length blonde hair stood by **

**Relena's casket. She wore a pretty knee-length silk night gown with butterfly sleeves, she was barefoot. The woman turned around, she smiled at Heero. **

**The young man stared at his wife in shock, his eyes were wide and his mouth hung slack. Relena winked at him, blowing a kiss to him before she walked **

**past the pews, dicipating like a fog. He smiled, knowing that he'd have a lot to work on now. But he would to it with God's help. **

** Three years later: **

**Pastor Maxwell smiled at his young brother, holding the cross that hung around his neck as he watched the children playing**

**in the fields with a simple woven straw ring. Heero had grown in faith a lot in this short time, his passion for Christ had sky rocketed and his love had **

**spread like a wildfire though-out the little village. The mission's project had been a success: To immunize and treat the sick orphaned **

**children of the wars past. Heero shrugged the sleeping boy he was piggy-backing into a more comfortable position on his back. Around the **

**young man's neck hung a black beaded crucifix and a pair of sun glasses. **

**"... Well, where to now, bro?" asked Duo. The young man looked over at his friend, smiling back at him. **

**"Where ever the Lord leads us, Duo," replied the ex-soldier, as he closed his eyes and tilted his head up to the sky as **

**a warm breeze brushed his face. And he praised the Lord for the blessings in his life. For his loving brother, for the children... and for**

**his loving Father in heaven. All was still and perfect now as the sun dipped behind the plains of Africa, the crickets chirping peacefully, **

**and Heero Yuy knew he had a home at last, in the arms of his Eternal Father, forever and ever. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Some sense of security:**

**Quatre had all but cried himself out the night he got the news from Duo. Heero's choked, shattered voice rang in **

**the background on the other end of the line. The young man held his lover's hand tightly, hoping this was all just a dream. **

**"She was so beautiful, how could you take her away from us!?" He shouted to his god, Allah. **

**That night, the men sat quietly by the fire, comforting each other in hushed tones. The servants had long since **

**retired for the night, deciding to leave their masters in peace. **

_**That day at the funeral: **_

_**Heero and Duo sat in the pew beside them, holding each other close. Quatre's head shot up from Trowa's shoulder, his eyes **_

_**widened in shock as Heero said the words that would change everyone's lives forever: "I want you to witness to me." **_

**The young men retired soon after, hoping sleep would help clear their heads. That night, Quatre tossed and turned in bed, **

**unable to sleep as he stared out at the moon from his window. He looked over at Trowa, not wanting to disturb him for comfort, **

**he decided to go to the library. **

**As the young master reached the little library, he noticed a large black book on a table near the reading nook. Perplexed, he went over**

**and opened the heavy document. He knew what the book was: the Holy Bible. How it came to be in his house, though, was beyond him. **

**His family was Muslim... so perhaps his father had kept it for a history lesson at one point. A strange feeling came over him, like a tug at **

**his heart. He laid the book on the table gently, lifting it open with care. He looked down at the first line he saw. **

**Psalm 52:8 **

**8 But I am like an olive tree  
flourishing in the house of God;  
I trust in God's unfailing love  
forever and ever.**

**Quatre closed his eyes for a moment, whispering a few words in Arabic. He felt someone's arms around his torso, and looked over his shoulder. **

**A young woman he had never seen before stood in the doorway. She blushed, clutching her robe around her tiny form. **

**"Please come sit with me. I won't bite, miss," the master said gently. His friend was dead, but that didn't mean he had to be rude to her in his time **

**of sorrow, he thought, she seemed to be a such a fragile woman. So gentle at heart. He smiled timidly as she walked over to him, she sat down hesitantly. **

**"Will you tell me your name, miss?" the girl blushed again, biting her lip for a moment. **

**"Isabel, sir." she replied. **

**"Isabel, is this yours?" he asked softly, holding the book out to her. **

**"Yes, sir," she said, her voice quivered slightly. **

**"I don't remember hiring you... how long have you been working here, Isabel?" **

**"Quite a while sir, since before your father... passed away," she said quietly. **

**"Hm... that's why I don't remember," he replied thoughtfully. **

**"Please, sir, I am quite tired... may I retire for the night?" asked the woman, her eyes were downcast as though she expected to be struck across **

**the face for asking. **

**"Yes, I was just thinking the same thing myself... although, I would like to talk with you sometime soon," he said carefully. **

**"Yes sir, good night, ah sir... if I may suggest something, you should read the book of Romans when you get the time," said the girl, walking past **

**him, she never made a sound. **

**Quatre looked down where she had sat. She had forgotten her Bible again, or maybe she had meant to leave it. The young man placed it in his lap, **

**staring at the leather cover for a moment. Half an hour later, he sat immersed in the book of Romans, the book the woman had suggested, writing down **

**things that came to mind. He would go to a church tomorrow and ask a priest his questions. **

**He had always loved history, and assumed that it would be a good lesson. The young master stetched his arms above his head, yawning loudly. He **

**placed the book back on the table, but decided that if he wanted to talk with Isabel again, he'd have to lure her to him. He picked the book up again, and **

**went to a little guest room, thinking that he'd wake Trowa if he came in this late. **

**The next morning, the young men sat in the breakfast nook, Trowa drank black coffee and a couple of peices of toast as he read the paper. Quatre **

**stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully, his mind filled with thoughts of the strange girl he had met the night before. **

**"Trowa... do you remember a maid my father hired? Goes by the name of Isabel..." **

**"No, I've never met her before, I'm sure one of the other maids would know about her, Quatre," replied Trowa, glancing up at his lover. **

**"... I'll ask Alyssa about it... she's worked here since the war, I'm sure she might know something," ventured the young man, getting up from the **

**table. Quatre planted a kiss on Trowa's head and left his lover alone to read the paper, Trowa had a hard time concentrating with too much noise lately, **

**it seemed. **

**Quatre knocked on the door of the maid's quarters, Alyssa answered the door and she smiled sweetly. **

**"Good morning young master, how are you today?" asked the maid. **

**"I'm fine Alyssa. I do have a question though. You see, I met a young lady last night that said she was one of our maids... but I had never met her **

**before last night." **

**"Ah, what is her name? I did hire some new servants recently," replied the woman, cheerfully. **

**"She said her name was Isabel," he said perplexed. The maid's face seemed to droop at the mention of the woman's name, her lips quivered **

**slightly as she took him by the hand gently and led him into the maid's quarters. Some maids were chatting over coffee, sitting in their robes, their hair **

**was still wet from recent showers. They smiled happily at Quatre, waving at him. **

**"Sir... I think you need to see something," said Alyssa. She took a silver picture frame from her bedside stand, and handed it to him. The young **

**man's mouth dropped open in surprise. He stared at a picture of a woman with a pretty heart shaped face, her hair was cut to frame her face delicately, **

**accenting a pretty jawline and small nose. The picture was black and white, but he recognized the woman instantly. **

**"... Isabel... Alyssa, tell me why you have this," he commanded, his voice sounded raw and scratchy. His face flushed and one of the maids helped **

**ease him onto a small cushioned bench. **

**"... She was my younger sister, sir... she died in the war, she had always dreamed of fighting for something greater... She had served for your **

**father in this manor before the wars. She was a wonderful woman, who loved God more than her own life. She died bringing glory to the Lord's name," **

**explained the maid. **

**"... Mistress... please, fetch my suitcase, pack my things... enough for a month," the young master said weakly. He didn't know where he was **

**going, but he had to get away to think... to meditate. **

**"Sir, may I ask where you are going?" asked Alyssa. **

**"... I am going on a trip to find myself," said Quatre. **

**"Sir..." said the woman. **

**"Yes, Alyssa?" **

**"... I hope you find what you are seeking, but know that the Lord is everywhere, and He loves you as you are now," said the maid. **

**The young man nodded to his servant, then retreated to the comfort of his bedroom. The memories of the war flashed before his eyes, thoughts of **

**the children that had lost mothers and fathers at his hands. **

_**Tears spilled down his cheeks, he saw Relena smiling at him as she sat in the waiting room, holding Heero's hand. He remembered the last thing she **_

_**had said to him before she had gotten sick, "I'll be just fine, Quatre, regardless. I've got something better to look forward to than this silly life." **_

__**Quatre pounded his fists against the matress, sobbing uncontrollably now... she had never told anyone. She had kept that part of her life secret, or **

**maybe no one had asked what mattered most to her... he knew he had never asked. She had been so beautiful... so vibrant, even as she had laid in the **

**casket... **

**Quatre felt someone's arms around his shoulders, he smiled and laid his hands over the woman's forearms. "Relena... I never asked you," he **

**whispered as she laid her chin on his shoulder gently. **

**"Quatre... I knew He'd tell me when the right time would be, I'm here to help you now if you're ready," said the woman softly. She took his **

**hands in hers, and made him lean forward so his elbows rested on the matress. He pressed his hands against his forehead, fresh tears slid down his **

**cheeks and sobs climbed up the walls of the young man's throat. He didn't know what this life held... but he knew what to expect in the next life, and **

**there was hope there. He hoped God was smiling down on him now, prayed he was doing the right thing. He knew what he was doing, he was giving his **

**life away... to Someone he had only just met... but He had known Quatre since the beginning of Earth. **

**Later that day, as Quatre shut the door of the mansion, he looked up at the bright sun as it shown through the clouds. He wiped the tears from his **

**cheeks as he jumped on a small motorcycle, straping his bag to the passenger's seat with bunjee cords. As he left the mansion behind, his fortune, his **

**title... he knew that none of it mattered now. Nothing mattered but what his Father in heaven needed him to do now... and he'd go to the ends of the **

**earth and colonies to find his place. Around his neck was a small coin with a cross-shaped hole strung through with a worn leather cord, Relena's last **

**gift to him. **

**Revelation 19:**

**After this, I heard what sounded **

**like a vast crowd in heaven shouting,**

**"Praise the Lord!"**

** One year later: **

**The young man ran his hand through his unkept hair, as the hot summer sun beat down on his skin. His shoulders ached from the labor his body **

**had endured over the past 6 months, but the Lord alway lent him a greater strength. And he knew that throughout his life, He would continue to do so. **

**Quatre hauled another sand bag onto his shoulders, whistling shrilly and motioning with his free hand for the truck to move ahead of him. Construction **

**work had never been a dream of his, but helping people in need from the rainy seasons... that was more fulfilling than anything he had ever done in his **

**whole life... even fighting in the wars. **

**Heero and Duo smiled at their brother, slinging their arms around his shoulders as he set his load down. Duo dumped an icy bottle of water over **

**his young brother's hair, and Quatre smiled at him in thanks. Heero slugged Duo in the ribs playfully, and Duo chuckled good-naturedly. **

**"So, when's the last time you heard from Trowa, Q?" asked Duo. The blonde closed his eyes trying to remember... it had been about 4 weeks, he **

**reckoned. **

**"... About a month ago... last I heard, he wasn't doing too well." **

**"How so?" asked Duo, leaving Quatre's side to hand a bottle of water to a sweat-drenched employee. **

**"... Same stuff I was into with him... he's got a new boyfriend, this one likes to drink, smoke, slave play," said Quatre, a lump formed in his **

**throat. Trowa had been living in a little townhouse on the L2 colony the last time anyone had heard from him. He had never mentioned his current job, **

**what he had been doing... one thing was clear though. He had given up on any hope of things getting better. Duo and Heero looked at each other for a **

**moment. Heero's eyes shown bright blue in the midday sun. **

**"We're going back for him," he growled angrily. **

**"Woah! Easy man, let Daddy do the work and we'll be the little birdies on the guy's shoulders. It's not on our time, but His," said Duo, he knew **

**Heero's passion for Christ was strong, but as a former soldier, Heero still had a way of getting over zealous... as they all did at times. But for the glory of **

**the Lord, they would do all they could for their friend. And they would do it with love... **

**The young men sat in the pews, holding each other's hands with their heads bowed. Duo lead the prayer. When they finished, the young men **

**looked up at a picture of the crucifixion of Christ, raising their hands together. Over the times of war, soldiers had gathered around the little santuaries, **

**vast multitudes of men and women in dire need of the Savior's help. Preists and pastors from all denominations had pledged to keep the doors open to **

**the community, at any time of the day. **

**The former soldiers arrived at the L2 colony the next morning, sitting in the little cafe near the port. Quatre rested his head in his hands, it had **

**been a long ride in, and no one had slept well in the cramped sleeping compartments in the shuttle, wrot with worry over Trowa. Duo clapped his young **

**brother on the shoulder, sliding a paper cup in front of Quatre's face. He handed a small silver packet of vitamins to Quatre, doing the same with Heero, **

**who sat across from the blonde. Heero grumbled a dry thanks as Duo slipped in beside him in the booth seat. They bowed their heads, giving thanks for **

**the nourishment they were about to receive and enjoyed the time together. **

_**Quatre was used to seeing her by now, she had often come to him when he'd felt like giving up to talk to him. She had said she visited the others as **_

_**well, but she had never mentioned if she saw Trowa. She held his hand for a moment before going over to Heero, she hugged him around the waist, and **_

_**kissed his cheek before disappearing. **_

**Quatre took a deep breath, praying silently to his Father for strength. Feeling the Lord's presence around him, he knocked on the door. After **

**about 5 minutes, a bedraggled Trowa answered the door. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of boxers that had seen better days. His eyes lit for a **

**moment, he lunged forward, pressing his lips against Quatre's. The taste of alcohol entered the blonde's mouth. The young man closed his eyes for a **

**moment, he felt a tug in his heart, placed his hands on Trowa's shoulders and pushed him away gently. **

**"Quatre... I didn't mean... I-I'm so sorry..." slurred the man. Quatre felt the corner of his mouth rise in a bitter smile, laying a hand on his ex-**

**lover's bare shoulder. **

**"I don't care about that, Trowa. I want you to come with us, now," Quatre's voice sounded soft and gentle. Duo laid a hand on his young brother's **

**shoulder, pride shown in his eyes as he looked over at Quatre. It had been a battle for him, admitting his sin... coming to terms with it, and then... locking **

**the door on the demons. He had held his brother those nights when the pain of his sin returned, when the thoughts of him and Trowa together became **

**too much. Had prayed with him, and laid him down on his bed when he had finally cried himself to sleep. He could only imagine the pain his friend felt **

**now... the temptation. The young minister led him away by the hand, they stood over by the truck. Duo rested his hand on Quatre's head. **

**"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Satan, I cast you out of this young man. Leave him now!" commanded Duo. With that said, Quatre bowed **

**his head and Duo took his hands into his own, bowed his head and prayed with his friend. He kissed Quatre's forehead. **

**"... Thank you, Lord. I'm ready now, Duo" said Quatre, looking up at the sky for a moment. **

**"... Alright then," they went back to the little house. Heero clutched his crucifix, his eyes closed. It was apparent that he was disturbed, being near **

**Trowa for the first time in a year. **

**Heero retreated to the truck for a moment, grabbing a small canvas bag. He walked back, digging out a gray blanket. He wrapped the cloth **

**around Trowa's half naked body, grabbed him by the front of the blanket and dragged him in the direction of the truck. Being so intoxicated, Trowa **

**hardly put up a fight, knowing that Heero would just as soon drag him along the ground if he fell in his drunken state. His companions followed, they **

**knew the battle was just beginning. **

**Quatre sat with his legs curled up under him on the couch, reading the Bible, Heero and Duo had taken up the duty of bathing Trowa, the smell on **

**the ride home was all but intolerable. And the alcohol hadn't yet flushed from the young man's body, they had had to stop a few times along the way. He **

**had drifted off to sleep soon after slipping into the truck in the backseat with Duo. The young men had made it a point to not leave so much as a message **

**for their friend's current lover. It had been best to do it that way, lest he should try to find his missing lover. **

**Quatre sighed anxiously, glancing over at the clock, 12:40 PM. He jumped at a choking, wretching sound, coming from the little hotel bathroom **

**followed by Duo's comical screeching sound of disgust. **

**"OH MY GOSH, HE JUST PUKED ON ME, MAN!!" **

**Feeling his face pale at the thought of Trowa hurting so, he grabbed a towel from the bed, a T-shirt and his swim trunks and decided to retreat to **

**the pool for a while. **

**Duo's eye twitched irritately as he wrung the vast quantity of water from his shortened braid, Trowa had put up a valiant struggle. Along with **

**bioligical warfare. But his and Heero's combined, although comical, efforts had over powered him. He helped Heero carry the semi-conscious man to the **

**pullout sofa, laying him down gently, placing a large tin bowl beside the bed. Just in case, he thought to himself. Heero was showering now, he could **

**hear the shampoo bottles dropping in the tub, Heero's muttered cussing. And he chuckled at that. He went to the little sink, wetting a clean cloth with icy **

**water. He sat by Trowa on the bed, bathing his face with the cool cloth gently. The young man sighed in comfort in his sleep as Duo folded the cloth and **

**placed it on his forehead to take the fever out of his skin. **

**"You no longer have to say 'No one's listening anyway,' come here and cry on My shoulder, I'll hold you til it's over. I'll rescue you tonight, let My **

**arms be your shelter, your hiding place forever, I'll love you more than life," Duo smiled as he sang the lyrics to that song. It had comforted him so **

**much in his time of need... and he hoped that Trowa heard it in his sleep, hoped he knew how much they all loved him. How much Jesus loved him. **

_**A woman smiled at him, and try as he might, he couldn't seem to stop staring at her mouth as she spoke. But he heard no sound, all was dead silent, **_

_**and the edges of his vision were clouded with black. He recognized that mouth... but he wasn't sure who she was. He wasn't sure how he knew it was a **_

_**woman. She felt so close... like a dear forgotten friend. He felt someone's hand in his, warm and soft. As he stared at her mouth a thick strand of golden hair **_

_**fell from behind her ear, getting caught in her mouth. She brushed it aside, his gaze never moved from her mouth. He seemed to need to hear what she was **_

_**saying to him... **_

**Trowa awoke to hushed whispering close by. His eyes watered profusely, a sour feeling stirred in his gut as he leaned over the edge of the bed. He **

**wretched into the bowl by the bed, the muscles in his arms and legs quivered in disapproval as he laid back down. He winced as he looked out the **

**window at the bright midday sun, only for a dark, blissfully cold shadow to be placed over his eyes. **

**"Relena," whispered Trowa hoarsly. **

**"Guys, he's awake" said a hushed voice, it sounded like Heero, but he wasn't sure. The hangover was muddeling his senses. Trowa moaned **

**incoheriently, holding the rag over his eyes as though it could save him somehow. **

**"Now Heero, he's not fully alert right now... be gentle," said a cautious voice... Quatre, he figured. Heero scoffed at that, Trowa heard them **

**moving around. The sound of tin against glass rang through his ears as someone lifted him up into a sitting position with care. The rag fell from his eyes, **

**and he winced as the sunlight stung his eyes. He covered his eyes quickly, hearing someone move around, and the Roman shades were closed for his **

**comfort. He uncovered his eyes, felt the room spinning as his vision began to come into focus. He leaned over the side of the bed, and vomited again. Duo **

**smiled down at him, placing a tray on the bed. Trowa's hands were shaking so badly, he couldn't grasp the handle of the tea cup. Duo frowned at that, **

**reaching for a saltine cracker. He pressed it against Trowa's lips, and Trowa bit a corner off without meeting his friend's gaze. **

**"When your hands stop shaking, drink this, you should have settled down by the time it's cool enough," said Duo, he stood up and walked away **

**from Trowa, leaving him in peace, where to though, he could only guess. **

**Trowa leaned against the cushions, tryng to remember what had happened. He and Blake had just taken a few shots of vodka, had some M.J... **

**He reached for a saltine, his stomach protested loudly as he nibbled on a corner. He sighed, shaking his head to try and ward off the threatening **

**headache. Not wanting to disturb anyone for tylenol he dangled his feet over the edge of the mattress. The floor spun, his head throbbed violently, **

**nausea over took him and he began to wretch on the floor. The door to the little hotel room opened, Quatre rushed over to him, knelt by his side, clear of **

**the stuff he had just evacuated from his body. The young man rubbed Trowa's back gently as he helped him up to use the bathroom, so as not to make **

**an even bigger mess on the carpeted floor, the bowl had long since been filled. **

**Heero entered the hotel room to the smell of vomit and stale sweat, he went over to the offending smell, feeling his face pale at the sight of it. The **

**ex-pilot covered his mouth, running to the sink, he began to evacuate his recent meal. Duo followed suit into the room, his eyes widened as he noticed the **

**disgusting leavings on the floor, hearing his friends wretching from various parts of the hotel room, he decided to call room service and sanitation... they **

**would definately be paying extra for this. **

**A few days later, Trowa sipped at some hot apple cider, munching on some oyster crackers. It had taken about 24 for his body to flush its self. For **

**the last 72 hours, he had lived on water and what little food his friends would give him, just in case, Duo had said. Trowa sighed, leaning against the **

**chair back, feeling the papery texture of the cleansing pads on the soles of his feet. His friends had signed him up for AA meetings, diet consultation (he **

**had long since forgotten how to eat properly and had suggested it himself) and Christian counseling. He had never put much thought into Christianity... **

**but maybe it would help. He had noticed something different in his friends' demenor... something warm and glowing. A deeper love than what **

**they had shown him before the funeral. Even Heero had changed, he seemed less cold, somehow, he seemed at peace with life now. **

**After the seven-hour flight to the L7 colony, Duo and Heero helped Quatre with the luggage. Trowa looked around the house **

**Quatre had rented for the next couple of years for them to stay. **

**Duo opened the door of the facility. Stark white walls and bare hardwood floors seemed all the more welcoming to everyone, having spent most of **

**the week bouncing around from hotel to hotel. The house had 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Trowa looked over at Quatre, a questioning expression **

**filled his eyes. **

**"Well, we can't leave you alone to recover, we're staying to help you," explained Quatre. **

**"... But what about your jobs?" asked Trowa. **

**"Oh we move around with an organization, it'll be stationed around this colony for a while. Long enough for you to get yourself back together," **

**said the blonde. Quatre shoved a basket of clothes over to Trowa with his foot, they had been shopping to replenish the clothing Trowa would need. **

**Quatre had cheerfully refused to take him back to Blake's place so he could at least grab some of his things. Trowa had meant to ask what kind of **

**organization they were in service with, but decided to ask later once he got his things unpacked. **

**Heero passed a deep wooden spoon to Trowa along with a pair of chopsticks. The young man scooped some white rice out of the pan, he had **

**never cared much for rice, but it was better than crackers and cider. After everyone had served themselves, Heero, Duo and Quatre held hands around **

**the table, bowed their heads. Heero led the prayer. **

**"Heavely Father, we ask that you would bless this food we are about to receive. Lord, we know there are people all around this place that would **

**love to have this bountiful feast you have placed before us. We ask that, through the work you have blessed us with, some people may receive food like **

**this. Lord, we pray for our friend now, that you would help him heal. And that you would bless our actions as we do our best to help him. In Jesus' name **

**we pray these things, Father, amen." **

**Trowa looked all around the table as everyone responded with an 'amen.' He felt like a foreigner... an outcast, a heathen. He stared down at the **

**small wooden bowl filled with rice and a couple of peices of sushi. Duo smiled at his friend, knowing he must feel out of place. **

**"We'll talk later, Trowa, now you need to eat." Trowa nodded in reply, picking up a peice of sushi skillfully with his chopsticks. **

**Later that night, Trowa was unpacking his clothing. There was a knock on the door, he opened the door, Duo stood there smiling at him. **

**"Hey, you setteling in alright, buddy?" asked Duo. **

**"Yeah... everything's fine," replied Trowa, rubbing the back of his head uneasily. **

**"Don't think so, tell," said Duo, a worried look filled his eyes. **

**"... Everything's been happening so fast... it's almost over-whelming. I miss Blake, but... I don't wanna go back," replied Trowa. Duo smiled at **

**that, recovery had not been easy for him... his body had all but been through hell during the past week. Over time, scientists had found a way of partially **

**masking withdrawal symptoms. Trowa had responded to therapy well, and had taken right to AA meetings. **

**"Yeah, it happens like that sometimes," replied Duo. **

**"... So, tell me something, do you really believe in all this Christianity stuff?" asked Trowa.**

**"I do," replied Duo. **

**"After everything that was proven... how could you possibly hold on to that shred of belief. Even if they never found His body..." **

**"It's not a matter of things being 'proven', it's about faith. There are things man can never prove, things we could never do. That scrap of evidence **

**is enough for me to say with a clean conscince, yes, there is a God," Duo smiled at his friend, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not saying that you **

**should change this minute, this is on God's time. We are here to help you when you need us. You know that we love you, Jesus loves you more than we **

**ever could," said Duo. **

**"I've heard a little about Him... but exactly what did He do that was so great anyway? He was just a man, right?" asked Trowa. **

**"No. The Bible tells us He was God's only begotten Son, born of the virgin Mother Mary. He died to take mankind's sin upon Himself, so that **

**everyone, regardless of their sins, could be with God in heaven when He comes back for His saints," explained Duo, his face shown bright, and his eyes **

**lit with joy. **

**"... Is ... there something I could read that would explain it a little better?" asked Trowa, he seemed interested now, he had always been interested **

**in paranormal science and fictional stories of dragons and magic. Maybe he thought what Duo had told him would be something like that... **

**Duo smiled at his friend, taking something out of his coat pocket. He handed the little black book to Trowa. **

**"Read Romans and the Book of Luke. It should help answer some questions for you." Trowa nodded in reply, trying to find the right chapter, Duo **

**left the room. He smiled to himself 'Daddy, You're making this easy...' he thought. He felt a gentle warmth spreading through his chest as he held the **

**cross around his neck, he sighed gratefully. **

**There was a knock on the door, Duo got up from the little love seat, jogging to the front door. He opened the door, Sally Poe looked at him **

**smugly. He embraced her feircly, clapping her back as he laughed with enthusiasm. **

**"Oh my gosh, sis! What have you been up to?!" He exclaimed joyfully. **

**"Nothing much, Duo. How is work for you lately?" asked the woman, brushing back the hood of her black rain poncho. **

**"It's awsome! Man, you should see all the places that have been repaired," said Duo. **

**"The Unions' thriving as well, Wufei's still giving me grief about it... but I can tell God's working in that man's heart," said Sally. Duo led her **

**inside, grabbing a cup off the dish strainer, he filled it with coffee and handed it to his friend. She nodded in thanks as he led her into the little breakfast **

**nook. **

**"So, how's Trowa holding up, brother?" asked the woman, sipping her coffee. **

**"... Dunno. Only God knows what he's thinking now... but I think something's grabbing onto him a little. He's reading now, feeling a lot better than **

**when we found him... Sally, it was hard to put him through that, just to watch him so sick... so cut up inside," Duo said sofly, his eyes shown with **

**sadness as he looked down at the table. Sally touched his hand gently, smiling at him. **

**"Let Father do the work, and we'll do our best to help him," said Sally. Duo smiled and nodded. He had said that, he couldn't remember how many **

**times since Trowa had come to stay with them. **

**"So, where's the nearest base, Sally?" asked Duo. **

**"Well, I was thinking about that Duo. I know how much you love children. I was thinking that you would like to work with handicapped kids for a **

**while, as a mentor," said Sally, she smiled as Duo's eyes widened in surprise. This was the opportunity of a life time! No way was he going to pass up **

**this chance! **

**"YEAH! You rock, sis!" shouted Duo, hugging her, lifting her off the floor. She glared at him, the side of her mouth turned down. **

**"Duo, we've been over this. Now if you would be so kind as to put me down," she said calmly. Duo blushed, grinning sheepishly as he set her back **

**down. **

**"Sorry, sis." **

**"Now, I'd love to tell the others the news as well, I'm sure they will be thrilled," she said, smirking. She knew Heero never cared much for **

**children, but he had grown a lot since the war. Duo smiled at that, he noticed that Trowa was standing in the door way, his eyes downcast as he held the **

**pocket Bible by his side. Duo saw tears drip from Trowa's chin, something felt different about him... though he stood in tears before his friend now, a **

**strange sort of calm filled Trowa now. He wiped his nose across his sleeve as Duo laid his hand on his shoulder, looking back at Sally apollogetically. **

**Sally smiled and nodded. **

**Later that day, Quatre and Trowa were walking in the local mall. Quatre had said that he'd wanted Trowa to have a Bible of his own, a beginner's **

**Bible though. So he would learn to understand the material to a fuller spiritual capacity and learn what the verses meant to him. He held the new green **

**leather case that held his red letter beginner's Bible, looking at book marks. Suddenly one caught his eye. It read: **

**Isaiah 46:1-ll **

**I have made, **

**and I will bear, **

**even I will carry, **

**and I will deliver you. **

**Trowa didn't know what the verse meant, but for some reason, it comforted him. He purchased his items and met his friend at the entrance of the **

**humble little Christian book shop. He nodded in thanks to Quatre. **

**"Well, let's go home now. I'm sure they will be happy to know you've got your first Bible, Trowa," said the blonde. **

**Back at the little house, everyone gathered around the little dining table as Trowa sat staring down at his Bible. A pen was passed around and **

**everyone wrote their favorite verses and books on a blank page in the back of the book, along with a word of encouragement. Duo smiled as he rested **

**his hands on Trowa's shoulders, his comrades gathered around their brother, laying their hands on Trowa's head. Trowa took a deep breath, feeling **

**uncomfortable with so much contact, but he knew that this was a gesture of love for him. A testimony of his new life in Christ. **

**"Heavenly Father, You've brought this young man out of hell today. Father, we pray that You will protect him from his demons, Father, let him **

**know that You are the Ultimate Authority in his life. Lord, lift him up. Give him the power to beat down his demons now. Daddy, as You teach **

**him, help him to love You all the more as he struggles. Father, we know it's not an easy battle, but You are so glorious that any one of your children **

**standing with me now can defeat the most vicious demon in hell because of Christ's love for His diciples now, and is mighty because You loved them **

**enough to pull them out of hell and to protect them, do the same for this young brother now. In Jesus' name we pray these things, Almighty Lord, **

**amen." **

**Trowa looked up at the sky as he sat on a boulder, staring at the sunset. He closed his eyes for a moment, lifting himself up to his feet. He let **

**himself fall to his knees, raising his arms to the sky in praise to his Father. He felt the Lord smile down on him, as a gentle warm breeze kissed his face. **

**He had been through much in his life, but he knew that this was a new beginning. Trowa picked up his Bible, writing his birthdate in the front of the **

**Bible on the blank page. **_**Trowa Barton, born again: September 17, 179 After Colony. **_


End file.
